How and why to explain your feelings when you have cancer

“How are you feeling?”

The most common question you will get in hospital is “how are you feeling?”. It can be annoying at times as you get it over and over again! The people asking you mean well, but sometimes it can be hard to explain how you are feeling, especially to friends and family.

Don’t bottle your feelings up

On some days, your treatment may just make you feel moody or upset, and you don’t really want to talk to anyone. It is ok to feel that way – as long as you are not keeping any worries you may have about your treatment from them. If you don’t feel like talking, then keeping a diary is a great way of putting down your feelings on paper. At the end of the day, just jot down what happened and how you were feeling and why – whether you were feeling great, fine or sad. It can be helpful to then look back at those great days when you are not feeling so good and remember what made them so great. This will give you a boost when you are down.

Just have a chat

Don’t be worried about trying to explain why you are feeling a certain way. Even those of us not going through treatment can have days where you don’t feel right and just can’t explain it. You can start by talking to friends or family about anything; from sport to music or TV and films, and from that starting point the conversation can just turn naturally to how you feel.  

Share your bad days

It is important to let people know if you are having a bad day, even if you don’t know why and can’t think of a way to make it better. That is what friends and family are there to support with. I know that during my treatment that my family felt a little helpless as the doctors and nurses took charge of making me feel better. So, telling them you are feeling a bit rubbish means that they have a job to do which doesn’t involve giving you medicine. Believe me, they will be happier for knowing.   This blog was written by Darren, who is a childhood cancer survivor, after having Acute Myeloid Luekaemia when he was 11 in 1996. If you know a child who is going through childhood cancer treatment, let them know that Darren is willing to answer questions like this one. Contact us at stories@childrenwithcancer.org.uk so that we can put forward the questions to him.