How do you deal with the question ‘why me’?

What I had done to deserve it?

When I had cancer, I did often ask what I had done to deserve it. No one says it is an easy journey and there will be lots of ups and downs. But what I needed to remember is that cancer doesn’t pick children for a reason and nothing you could have done previously would now mean you would not be going through treatment.

What makes me different?

I know that doesn’t really help right? I am stuck on a bed while other children my age aren’t. What makes me any different?

Well, the way I see it now is cancer is there to test us. That isn’t just children, but adults as well. And you can be sure that whatever age you are, you will still be asking the same “why me?” question.

We are strong and we won’t give up

But if it is true, and cancer is there to test us, then I strongly believe it is there to test the best of us. Whoever you are, whatever age and from wherever you come from, you can turn round to cancer and go “No”! You may have chosen me over somebody else, but I am going to fight you just as hard because I am a strong person. A strong person who will not give in.

And yes, cancer did pick me. But I am going to make it wish it hadn’t.

This blog was written by Darren, who is a childhood cancer survivor, after having Acute Myeloid Luekaemia when he was 11 in 1996. If you know a child who is going through childhood cancer treatment, let them know that Darren is willing to answer questions like this one. Contact us at stories@childrenwithcancer.org.uk so that we can put forward the questions to him.